Needed
by Uozumi
Summary: Sam really wanted to tell Dean, but perhaps it would just make everything worse. NOT incest. SPOILERS for season five episode sixteen


**Fandom** _Supernatural_  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s)** Dean, John, Sam; no pairing intended  
**Genre** Deleted scene/Family/General  
**Rating** PG  
**Word Count** 500  
**Disclaimer** Supernatural c. Kripke, WB, CW  
**Summary** Sam really wanted to tell Dean, but perhaps it would just make everything worse.  
**Warning(s)** SPOILERS for season five, episode sixteen  
**Notes** So I was sitting down to some vanilla cinnamon ice milk (which is pretty much homemade ice cream made with 2% milk) and BAM! fic attack! Therefore, I had to put it back in the freezer and fic. If you want the recipe, it follows the fic.

_**Needed**_

Sam seriously considered telling Dean where he had woken up in Heaven. The memory was right there on the tip of his tongue, right there waiting to counteract all the shit Zachariah had leveled off at his brother. However, Sam was not certain that Dean wanted to remember that memory, even if it did not end with Sam running off, hiding, or doing some other form of rejecting Dean completely.

It must have been 1987 or so because the _Ghostbusters_ cartoon was new enough Sam could not recite the episodes by heart yet. Their dad was passed out on the motel bed after returning from some hunt so Sam had the volume down to a bare whisper. As the show faded out to that infamous skillet and egg anti-drug commercial, Sam turned the TV off and wandered over to Dean.

He watched his brother ironing. Dean was only about eight and was working as hard as he could at not burning himself or their clothes. Their dad was gone a lot. It always fell on Dean to do the laundry, mend the clothes, get food together somehow, and do many other tasks Sam watched mothers do on the TV reruns when they were stuck in the hotel for ages.

"What?" Dean asked, careful to keep his voice low so he would not wake their dad up.

"Can I help?" Sam looked up at Dean – or well down at Dean since he died about two feet taller than his brother was in this memory – and gave him puppy eyes.

Dean looked at Sam, studied him, and then glanced at the ironed clothes. "You can fold," he paused, "I guess." Dean took Sam by the hand and made him stand where he would not get burn by the iron and then handed Sam the clothes after they cooled a little. It slowed Dean's ironing down considerably, but he carried on.

Sam looked at Dean after folding a few shirts and offered a small, appreciative smile.

Dean eyed him and then grinned back.

That was the memory Sam woke up to in Heaven. It had eventually ended in him feeling a weird need to exit through the door which had led him to that weird Thanksgiving date, but well, Sam had no idea how to tell the much older and actually dead Dean any of that when he crashed the Thanksgiving memory.

Even now as they drove along the highway, Sam wanted to say it. He wanted to just blurt out, 'Not all my good memories involve your misery!' but then he remembered that just after that, Dean had burnt his finger which woke their dad up and they eventually had to go to the hospital and it was just one big mess.

Sam closed his eyes briefly and looked out the passenger window. He was content, though, with the memory ending just before the finger burning when it was just Dean and he with the laundry, and Sam felt needed.

**The End**

Vanilla Cinnamon Ice Milk (serves 1 person)

1 cup milk  
2 tb spoons of sugar per 1 tb spoon of vanilla (I prefer 4:2 ratio, but if you're not a vanilla fan you might want 2:1 ratio)  
Dash of cinnamon (to taste, really this isn't CINNAMON vanilla, just vanilla with a pwing of cinnamon)  
Bwink and you'll miss it of salt (because you don't want to taste the salt, you just want it to make all the flavors come together and be vibrant)

Whisk all of this together in a Tupperware container that has a lid and can hold about 2 – 3 cups of liquid  
Secure the lid and put it in your freezer  
Periodically when you can shake the container, otherwise things will settle (about every few hours should suffice

If you make the ice milk in the morning, it should be all set by nighttime. If you make it before bed it'll be hard as a rock by morning, but stabbing it with a spoon should help. However, the night method allows for things to settle so you get a lot of ice in your ice milk instead of it all being ice milk from the periodic shakings during the day.

Anyway experiment with it freely! Sometimes I put a packet of hot chocolate mix in for kicks. It's pretty tasty and not as fattening as ice cream 8D Enjoy!


End file.
